Wednesday, April 1, 2015

BREAKING: Netanyahu To Form Coalition With Republican Party



Speaking to reporters in Jerusalem today (April 1st), Israeli Prime Minister Benyamin Netanyahu confirmed that the Likud would form a coalition government in the Knesset with the Republican Party.

"The Republicans have been a longstanding friend of the Likud and our values often overlap," explained the Prime Minister. The Likud's 30 seats plus the Republican Party's 54 seats in the Senate would put the coalition well over the 61-seat majority needed to govern the Knesset, Israel's parliament.

"This alignment will be a breath of fresh air for the Republican Party," declared GOP chairman Reince Preibus. "Israelis' love of privatization and disdain for the socialist welfare state make us a natural fit." Other Republican leaders were excited as well. "I'm so happy I could cry," said House Speaker John Boehner - who then proceeded to cry. "Finally I will be around arsim who have more obvious fake tans than I do."

Some in the Knesset have objected to the deal on the grounds that the Republican Party is an American rather than an Israeli party, but Netanyahu scoffed at the claims noting, "What then? We should form a coalition with droves of Arabs?"

Some American policymakers supported the deal. Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said, via private email, "I think the idea is a wonderful way of deepening the ties with our close ally Israel. Perhaps a good choice of Interior Minister would be Ted Cruz. Or Jeb Bush." 

Others expressed concern the coalition could have implications for an Iran nuclear deal in its final stages. "You think Iran fears an Israeli strike now, just wait until John Bolton is their Defense Minister," remarked Secretary of State John Kerry from Lausanne, Switzerland. For his part, Iranian chief negotiator Mohamad Zarif expressed concern. "We have many questions about this Zionist coalition. For example, do some of them really not believe in evolution? Like really? I mean come on, seriously?"

For now, the deal must be approved by Israeli President Reuven Rivlin. The American President, Barack Obama, has reportedly refused to meet with Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell citing protocol, and has called Rand Paul's curly hair "an obstacle to peace."

4 comments:


  1. شركة نقل عفش
    اهم شركات مكافحة حشرات بالخبر كذلك معرض اهم شركة مكافحة حشرات بالدمام والخبر والجبيل والخبر والاحساء والقطيف كذلك شركة رش حشرات بالدمام ومكافحة الحشرات بالخبر
    شركة مكافحة حشرات بالدمام
    شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة الجوهرة من افضل شركات تنظيف الخزانات بجدة حيث ان تنظيف خزانات بجدة يحتاج الى مهارة فى كيفية غسيل وتنظيف الخزانات الكبيرة والصغيرة بجدة على ايدى متخصصين فى تنظيف الخزانات بجدة
    شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة
    شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالدمام
    شركة نقل عفش واثاث

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  2. شركة نقل عفش بالرياض وجدة والدمام والخبر والجبيل اولقطيف والاحساء والرياض وجدة ومكة المدينة المنورة والخرج والطائف وخميس مشيط وبجدة افضل شركة نقل عفش بجدة نعرضها مجموعة الفا لنقل العفش بمكة والخرج والقصيم والطائف وتبوك وخميس مشيط ونجران وجيزان وبريدة والمدينة المنورة وينبع افضل شركات نقل الاثاث بالجبيل والطائف وخميس مشيط وبريدة وعنيزو وابها ونجران المدينة وينبع تبوك والقصيم الخرج حفر الباطن والظهران
    شركة نقل عفش بجدة
    شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة
    شركة نقل اثاث بالرياض
    شركة نقل عفش بالدمام

    ReplyDelete